Nicole Avant with her parents, Jacqueline and Clarence, during happier times in 2015.Photo:Eric Charbonneau/Shutterstock
Eric Charbonneau/Shutterstock
In the predawn hours of Dec. 1, 2021, Nicole Avant awoke to a nightmare she couldn’t believe was real. Her husband,Netflixco-CEOTed Sarandos, called from a business trip and told her, “Your mom’s been shot.” Mere hours earlier, Nicole had said goodnight to her mother,philanthropist Jacqueline Avant, 81, via text. Now Jacqueline was dying in the hospital after ahome intruder shot herin the back. As reality set in, Nicole said a prayer: “Oh God, please do not let me hate this man.”
Aariel Maynor, a felon released on parole three months earlier, had broken into her parents’ Beverly Hills home and fled empty-handed, leaving Nicole’s father, Clarence Avant, then 90, wondering why his wife of 54 years was bleeding on their living room floor. (Maynor, 31, is now serving a 150-yearprison sentence.)
“It was all-consuming, so heavy. I felt as if a house fell on me,” Nicole, 55, tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “I had never felt energy like that. Who was I going to call and ask, ‘What did you do when this happened to you?’ I had nothing. The prayer was me saying, ‘I cannot let my frustration and fury take over me. He’s not getting that.’”
Instead, Nicole — who was in the middle of writing a self-help book — channeled her energy into honoring her mother’s legacy while helping others process anguish. The result isThink You’ll Be Happy: Moving Through Grief with Grit, Grace, and Gratitude, out Oct. 17.
It was her father, Clarence, alegendary music executivewhodied this past August, who encouraged Nicole, a former U.S. Ambassador to the Bahamas, to complete it. “My dad was the engine behind this book,” says Nicole, who in the aftermath of her mom’s death cared for Clarence in the L.A. home she shares with her husband, Ted, 59.
“Every day I was like, ‘Daddy, I just can’t write today.’ He said, ‘Nicole, don’t go down this rabbit hole because you’re sinking," she adds. “You’re giving your energy and attention to a tragedy, and I want you to give it to Jacquie.’ ”
Nicole, pictured here in Los Angeles in 2017, is sharing her story in a new book.John Russo/Contour/Getty
John Russo/Contour/Getty
“I’ve been blessed with a good life, and I want to continue to serve,” she says. “I can do things with a broken heart, but I do want my heart to mend. I just can’t let it sit in my heart and rot.”
Now, nearly two years after her mom’s murder, Nicole is revealing how the family’s nightmare began — from the senseless act that broke their heart and the immeasurable grief that followed to how she forged ahead through healing, prayer and service.
In this exclusive excerpt fromThink You’ll Be Happyshe recounts what it felt like to hear that her elderly mother had been shot in her own home.
For more on Avant’s story, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribehere.
Nicole Avant’s book, ‘Think You’ll Be Happy,’ comes out on Oct. 17.
My mother, Jacqueline, was the person in our family who held the pieces together when things were about to fall apart. She never stood on the sidelines. Like thequeen of a kingdom, in moments of crisis her instinct was to act. For my entire life I saw her deliberately move through the world with grit, grace, and gratitude. In that moment after I received the call, I left myself. Maybe I became my mother or maybe I became more deeply myself. I am not sure, but what I do know is that my mother needed a woman like her right then.
Nicole with her mom Jacqueline Avant.Courtesy of Nicole Avant
Courtesy of Nicole Avant
She didn’t need to be next to me to hear me. I knew she received my message. I had no idea what state she was in, but I wanted to offer my strong, elegant mother the relief she deserved. I felt the urge to compose myself, not because I was okay. I was not okay. I collected myself because I was raised to believe that love is an action word. Love is not only something we are. Love is something we do. Love, the act of love, like the series of green lights, was moving me forward, telling me to keep going.
Of all I witnessed and went through that night, the gesture of those slippers stays in my memory. We must never underestimate the impact of a simple act of care. The next person I saw was my brother, Alex, frantically pacing around the room and on the phone, his girlfriend, Airess, at his side. Soon, Ted arrived and the police told us what they knew about the night.
An intruder had broken into my parents’ home at around 2:25 a.m. and while attempting to rob their home, had shot my mother in the back with an assault rifle. My blood boiled. My heart felt as if it would leap through my chest. My deep sadness and fear was instantly covered with a blanket of anger. Someone hurt my mother?
Jacqueline Avant posing at her 80th birthday party in 2020.Courtesy of Stefanie Keenan
Courtesy of Stefanie Keenan
I couldn’t comprehend it. How could anyone hurt my mother? A woman who lived with such respect for life. She wouldn’t harm an insect. Believe me, I grew up witnessing my mother releasing various insects from inside her home back outdoors to where they belong.
Someone hurt my mother?
Hot, painful tears streamed down my face. And then I looked up and saw my father, the man who’d spent his entire life living in the warmth of my mother’s light. A light that was fading fast. I felt myself coming apart, but I couldn’t, for the sake of my family. At least not in this moment. I took a deep breath. And I held the pieces. When the surgeon appeared, I saw the look on his face and knew. We all knew.
source: people.com
