In 2010 , retired heavyweight Mike Tyson appeared on Animal Planet .
As a pigeon racing car .
The Pittsburgh Pirates provoke a pierogi mascot for ripping the squad on Facebook .
A Norse cross country skier blamed flush it to win a gold medal in the Winter Olympics on watching too much porn .
A Phillies fan deliberately threw up on a man and the human ’s daughter during a game .
An NFL administrator ask a selective service prognosis if his mother was a tart .
Baltimore Orioles player Brian Roberts missed the last six games of the time of year with concussion - like symptom after hitting himself in the helmet with a bat in defeat after a ninth - inning strikeout .
Joslyn James , one of Tiger Woods ' mistress , complained that Woods lead her to believe she was the only one in his spirit … other than his married woman .
And thus was the sanctity of adultery compromise .
We make out today not to wassail the last 12 month as much as shake a fingerbreadth at the sky and blame it on the heaven .
In November , Buffalo Bills receiving system Steve Johnson dropped a sure touchdown pass in the end zone in extra time . The Steelers predominate over his Bills .
Johnson did not pick his hand , a pillow slip of nerve or even the Dominicus ( this was Buffalo after all ) . He pick God .
Tweeted Johnson : " I praise you 24/7 ! ! ! And this how you do me ! ! ! You carry me to learn from this ? ? ? How ? ? ? I ’ll never forget this ! ! Ever ! ! "
As if to extenuate the fallout of angering a vindictive divinity , he added :
" Thx tho . " * * * Atlanta Falcons receiver Roddy White tweeted that the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl last February because " the grace of god founder them tht backup so tht urban center would n’t would n’t fall apart . "
White apologized ( sort of ) , saying , " I ’m sorry . I really did n’t say anything about the hurricane but they take it that way . "
So what did he imply ? Mardi Gras ?
Not all the polarity from above were divinely inspired . Tiger Woods , who talked of his re - commitment to Buddhism after months of malicious gossip yoke him to women all over the state , was greeted on the first tee at The Masters in April by a plane trailing the following message :
" Tiger : Did you mean bootyism ? "
Some hoi polloi showed they literally do not be intimate what " literally " means . After losing fortune of weight , golf player John Daly signed a deal with Slix underclothes .
The mechanical press release called Slix " thoughtfully design garments that literally change lives " and that " literally put a spring in your stair . "
Ben Roethlisberger , for one , literally changed one vista of his life history . That was his vow after NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell suspended him for another off - field of battle incident .
So the former pridefulness of Findlay , Ohio , reportedly change his biographical information in the Steelers ' medium guide .
The Associated Press said Roethlisberger was upset with some unflattering things aver about him in his hometown after he was accused ( but not charge ) in a intimate violation incident in the offseason . So he dropped Findlay and list Corey Rawson , Ohio as his hometown .
Introducing the great , unparalleled , best - ever , life - changing " magnification of the Year . ““Tim Tebow is 250 pounds of concrete nitril . " – Jon Gruden , before the April NFL draft . * * * " He came from a squad that was always face for a Deliverer to a squad that knows how to make headway . No one would sympathize what he ’s been through unless you ’ve been drowning . " – Malesa Plater , Braylon Edwards ' mama , to theNew York Timeson the tribulation her Logos stand while run in Cleveland . * * * Sociologist Harry Edwards explicate the cultural divide between white college coaches and black-market players this path to Yahoo ! Sports .
" At the last of the day , you have a situation where it ’s Lawrence Welk and Pat Boone speak to Snoop Dogg , Ludacris and Vanilla Ice in the locker room . They do n’t get it . They do n’t understand it . "
At least not like they get Lawrence Welk references . * * * Curtis Wenzlaff , the man who supplied steroids to baseball game hitter Mark McGwire , tell ESPN’sOutside The Linesthe combination of sex hormone McGwire used would make anybody big , stronger and quicker .
" Will it help you hit a baseball game ? " Wenzlaff said . " Let me put it to you this fashion . If Paris Hilton was to take that array , she could run over Dick Butkus . " * * * And the winner is … “We’ve become a nation of weakling . The Chinese are kick our fanny in everything . If this was in China do you conceive the Chinese would ’ve called off the game ? People would ’ve been border down the bowl . They would ’ve walked and they would ’ve been doing Calculus on the agency down . " – Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell after the NFL canceled Vikings - Eagles this past Sunday due to a blizzard .
Of all the reasons the U.S. has fall behind China , not being willing to run a risk living and limb to get to a football secret plan is somewhere down the list .
When some jock do n’t feel the making love , they make up for it by taking a intemperate look at themselves … in the mirror . “I sense passion for me . I love me . " – baseball game player Milton Bradley on Milton Bradley .
" People love me everywhere I go . I ’m excited to bring a lot of pleasure to a lot of people . " – Manny Ramirez .
" I am a utter football player . If anybody wonders about me I ’m a double-dyed football game thespian . I can say that double . You ca n’t do better than me . " – wide-cut receiveer Michael Crabtree .
" I think of , even my family gets spoiled at times learn me doing thing that I do , on and off the court , " LeBron James tellingGQ Magazinehe did n’t regret state during a season - ending playoff loss to Boston that he spoiled Cleveland devotee with his " enormousness . "
Sometimes system of logic was downgraded from " probable " to " laughably dubious . “Bengals ' receiver Chad Ochocinco say he trot nude on the wooded property he owns .
" What ’s wrong with that ? " Ochocinco told SI.com . " I take a exhibitor nude . "
Indianapolis Colts ' punter Pat McAfee was check for public intoxication after he appeared to take a pre - dawn swimming in a channel . The shirtless McAfee was pluck wet . He blamed it on rain even though it had n’t rained for day . ask by police how much he had to drink , said McAfee , " A mass cause I ’m drunk … "
A 69 - yr - sure-enough Michigan valet detain getting a pacesetter so he could watch Michigan State play Michigan in football . " Whatever happens , " he toldThe Detroit News , " I want to see the secret plan . "
Joseph Rimmer , an amateurish English soccer player , did n’t care a referee ’s call . So he drove his Range Rover onto the field and got the ref in his flock .
That upped the subject area from a yellow card to a six - calendar month jail sentence .
No cannabis was used ( that we experience of ) in the fashioning of this affirmation . Snowboarder Graham Watanabe was require what it was like to make the U.S. Olympic team .
" attempt to conceive of Pegasus entangle with a unicorn and the fauna that they have . I somehow tame it and ride it into the sky in the clouds and sunshine and rainbows . That ’s what it feel like . "
If only mulligans applied off the golf class … Oprah Winfrey got up out of her chair to pass over at the smudge she thought was lipstick on the side of New Orleans Saints ' signal caller Drew Brees ' face during a post - A-one Bowl guest visual aspect .
It was a nevus .
( Fortunately , she fought the urge to call to her consultation , " You get a permanent blemish , you get a permanent blemish , vitamin E - ver - y - bod - y get a permanent defect . " )
" The pregame altercation induce us going . We were like pit horseshit , quick to get out of the cage . " – Eagles ' receiver DeSean Jackson on a pre - game scuffle with the Washington Redskins .
( Come on , your mate is Mike Vick . Do I have to say more ? )
" You ca n’t have the cavalry come in and keep your butt every time you feel a small steady berm , sore elbow , " Washington Nationals tv set psychoanalyst Rob Dibble on his XM Sirius Radio show after Stephen Strasburg catch his articulatio cubiti and left the line of business .
( A calendar week later , Strasburg was scheduled for Tommy John surgery and will lose at least a year . Dibble was fired .
LeBron James denied he aver compression in the NBA would be proficient for the conference .
" That ’s gaga , because I had no idea what the word ' contraction ' entail before I saw it on the Internet , " James said . " I never even cite that . That word of honor never even come out of my mouth . I was just say how the league was back in the ' 80s and how it could be skilful again . I never say , ' countenance ’s take some of the team out . ' "
As comic Jay Mohr guide out , James ' statement that he did n’t know the substance of the parole " compression " contained three muscle contraction .
The stone - cold lock of the yr … Sept. 11 , 2010 was the 25th day of remembrance of Pete Rose breaking Ty Cobb ’s all - fourth dimension criminal record for hits .
Rose is banned from his variation for life for bet on baseball game but the Reds got headroom to honor him .
Except they had to move the celebration to Sept. 12 because Rose had a previous engagement .
He was making an appearance in Lawrenceburg , Indiana .
At a casino .
Some showed razor - like nidus and child - like tendencies . Guard Larry Hughes reportedly grew his byssus in protest of his belittled acting time with the Knicks .
Hughes has play for seven teams . After the beard incident , his fan club consist only of ZZ Top circle members .
NBA big men Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard really spent fourth dimension debating which of them should get to call himself " Superman . "
Once again , it was beneficial advice to be wary of sham advertising . A website dedicated to Major League Umpire and self - predicate Renaissance man Joe West draw him as a " straight Patriot , Humanitarian , a Believer and a individual with millions of funny history to recount but also a valet de chambre that will give an answer to any question . "
After getting fined by Major League Baseball for his antagonise a situation during the White Sox - Indians plot , West was asked for a comment : " I will say that ’s none of your business , " was his non - reply .
The Surgeon General warns you could put a gob in somebody’e spike lobe with one of those things . Nine Miami Dolphins ' instrumentalist graze the field of honor in search of defensive end Kendall Langford ’s diamond after Langford forgot to take out his earrings and lose one during practice .
The size : 2.5 carats .
The economic value : $ 50,000 .
live you out - blinged Zza Zza Gabor : priceless .
The fine assembly line between apportion athletic sixth sense and grant too much personal information . Norwegian cross country skier Odd - Bjoern Hjelmeset impute his disappointing ash grey medal in the 4x10 - kilometer electrical relay at the Winter Olympics to less than focused preparation .
" I opine I have witness too much porno in the last 14 days , " he sound out .
At least he did n’t blame God .
