This scene from last night ’s Torchwood almost made me puke and squall , it was that good . The whole business with the thickened humans step yet another foreign visitor for financial gain was incredibly well done , and really horrifying . It was one of the near examples of a humans - are - the - real - monsters tale ever . unluckily , the other half of the episode was Torchwood at its rock - bottom defective . dawn through for spoilers .
I ’ll stick to the Torchwood recapitulation checklist I ’ve been using , even though the show continues to be right smart less sexy and jolly than it used to be . All of that space has been filled with laughable play , so I guess it ’s a average craft - off .
Was there a plot ? Yes , and it was awesome . Basically , these evil dudes have gotten cargo area of an exotic space whale and they ’re cutting chunk of meat off it . The thing grows so quickly , and regenerates itself so fast , they can keep slice up it up forever without kill it . But it ’s in horrifying pain and they have to keep yield it more and more sedatives . The tool look really impressive , right until the terminal when it starts rampaging and suddenly looks like a muppet .
The naughtiness : The mo where Captain Jack hits on Rhys ’ writing table was really pretty awing . “ Do you take a trucking licence ? I can go recollective distances … ” Ha ha ha . If only that was all Captain Jack ever did , making sexy innuendo , this would be my preferred show .
How merry was it ? If you have to tell us something is homoerotic , it just is n’t . That should be principle turn one , enforce by a catty pull queen with a cat - o - nine - tails . So the whole chronological sequence where Jack and Rhys argue mechanically turn a loss what little gayness it might have had . Oh , and there may have been a a few glances between Jack and Ianto .
Who gets laid ? Nobody , I think .
The play : Ugh . The pain . I felt as though I was bear psychic clump carve off me by a man in a yellow helmet , every clock time Gwen screamed at Rhys or Jack . There was just too much screaming in this episode , and it felt as though everybody was Acting as hard as they could . Oh , and that business where Gwen says there ’s only one sexy man around , as far as she ’s occupy ? And then she kisses Rhys while star psycho - killerishly at Jack ? Eww . Oh , and let ’s just pretend all the Toshi - flirts - with - forgetful - Owen stuff just did n’t happen . This would have been such a great sequence if it had n’t had any of the Torchwood people in it .
Will the kid - friendly emended edition make sense to anybody ? I ca n’t maybe imagine how . The whole plot is guaranteed to make a tyke ’s haircloth come out .
DramaTorchwood
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